It Takes Two

Hello, my little blogiverse...

So much has changed between now and all my past entries... I don't even know where to begin with this one! So I guess I will just come out and say it.

I am pregnant! Well... not just pregnant. I am REALLY pregnant. I found out yesterday, that Josh and I are expecting not one but TWO little ones. This explains the crazy symptoms I have had this time around. And the fact that I have been quite the raging you know what! :P

I went to the ER yesterday upon getting a voicemail from my GYN (who was helping me with my early pregnancy until my OB could fit me in) telling me he was concerned with my symptoms (alot of mild cramping that was really persistent.) and that he would like me to go to the hospital ASAP. So I did. I completely expected to go in and find nothing odd and be back at work before lunch. Speedy nurses got me through the blood draws and routine tests in record time. Then I was sent to the u/s room. I mentioned my past experience of there not being much to see at this point. (Of course as of yesterday I had been given a list of Due Dates spanning about 2 weeks! My levels showed 10/15/11 and my LMP showed 10/25/11. I kind of knew something was up... But I figured maybe it was just a girl. They generally cause confusion after they are born and as they grow up, so why not practice in the womb?) So you can imagine my surprise when I was in the room for over 30 minutes with this lovely wand in a place I don't wish to speak about. I even said to the lady "Now don't tell me there are twins!" As my polite "Heh, heh.... HURRY THE HELL UP!" She said "If it makes you feel better *I* won't tell you anything." I begin to think perhaps not all is well when the second lady is fetched. She and Lady #1 whisper and prod their magic wand and take many more pictures. I am starting to get rather nervous in fact. I get taken back to my room and start to familiarize myself with all the options that could await me. I prepare Josh that not everything is normal. The doctor comes in, sits down (that's usually less than good...) and says "Well, looks like you are about 6 weeks pregnant with twins." I stare. I blink. My mouth hangs open. I must have looked dreadful. I said to him, "Hold on... Let me lay down............ Now what did you say again?" He said it again. He really did say twins. Oh. My. Lord. My mind fluctuates between "WOW!" "EEEEEEP!!! :D" and "HOLY SH*T!!!" but I can't say anything. Eventually I regain some ability to think. The Doctor tells me that he saw two babies, two heartbeats, both around 100 bpm... One nice round sac and one smaller long sac. He is concerned for the smaller of the two. He put me on bedrest until my OB could see me.

So here I am. Still in bed on a Saturday evening. I see the OB at noon on Monday. My mind is still spinning. I have however, almost fully absorbed the idea of two little peanuts in there. Two cribs... Two carseats... Twice the diapers... WOW!!! I would have never dreamed this would happen to us, but I am so happy!!! I feel so incredibly blessed. I never win anything... I feel like I have won the pregnancy lottery! Now I am just praying and asking everyone I know to pray for the health of these little ones! I have gotten so attatched to the idea of two little lives inside me... I have done some research and feel alot better but I will truly breath a sigh of relief when we find two little heartbeats again on Monday. :)

Make Em Laugh

So some of you may be familiar with my latest comedic obsession. I am addicted to the website Damn You Autocorrect. It is a collection of texts gone horribly wrong due to iPhone malfunctions... In case you live in a cave, Mac apparently is so superior that it knows exactly what you want to say... even if you type something completely different. Heh. Exactly why I have a palm... I digress... So I will read this site until I am crying and sore all over from laughing so hard. It seems to be sweeping the facebook world and more and more people are sharing from the site. Good for them. :)

DYAC recently challenged it's fans to make videos of themselves reading the site and cracking up at it. Why of course I would have to take on this task. So here it is in all it's unglory: My DYAC Viewing Video...



I have posted the video on Youtube as well, here is the URL you can visit.

You need to check out the website though! Laughter is so good for you. Go have a dose and then some.

Sweet Little Lies

Why is it that I let myself be lulled into false security? I will never learn I guess. The problem is, I am willing to give up so much when I care about something... And somehow what I care about keeps getting ripped away and I am left with jack shit. I have a pretty major sacrifice that I have laid on the table right now. Nothing big has happened but I am completely on edge and wondering if I am making a horrible mistake. I want nothing more than to believe that everything I have been promised is true. But when you have been hurt like I have... Over and over and over... You grow to be more and more questioning of things. Especially with so much at stake. I feel like taking a sabbatical and avoiding the whole thing until I am sure I am not being screwed over. I hate this. I am being made to feel like a fool way too often. I truly thought that alot of things had changed but it is quite apparent that they are on track to be just like they were in the very near past in the very near future. It is occurring to me to get out before I have the chance to be hurt again... This time not just being hurt but also giving up ALOT. It must be understood that I am happier than I have ever been... I am just sensing some dishonesty. I just can't stand cheap talk. And I am hereby refusing to be the convenient answer or concellation prize. My feelings are worth something. I think it is time for me to take a deep breath and a step back. Not because I want to, but because I could never handle the aftermath of what might happen if I don't.

THANKSGIVING SONG

Give Thanks

So it is here... Finally. This day of Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday for so many reasons... Namely the fact that this day is not about anyone getting anything from anyone else. No one wants anything other than togetherness and maybe some rockin food. Which is really how it should be much more often. Christmas has become kind of a joke as I have gotten older... Experiences have jaded me I suppose. I have just realized over time what a selfish day it has become. Anywho... That is a different post.

What am I thankful for? Well whether you would like to know or not, I am about to tell you.

1) My wonderful Family... My son is the light of my life, and even if he lets the bratty 4 year old out once in a while he is overall wise beyond his years and the sweetest kid ever.... My parents are amazing people. I can't be thankful enough for them.

2) My friends... I can't possibly mention every single person that has touched my life this year, but the people that are ALWAYS there... No matter what I need... You guys are amazing. You should know exactly who you are, but in case you didn't... In no particular order: Kim, Josh, Lisa, Claire, Ashley, Yoshie, Patrina..... You guys are my rocks. I am so grateful for you.

3) My health... It may not be ideal at this very second but it is improving... And I feel a little bit more control as it gets better.

4) Hanson. Yes Hanson. I am thankful beyond reason that they have stuck around to give me joy every year and that they are these stellar young men that I am proud to support. They give so much back... And they are humble, gracious people. I can't express the love I feel for them... No that isn't stalker love... That is love gained from years and years of gaining comfort in their lyrics and words, and an overall admiration for them.

5) I am thankful for my job. Mainly the fact that in this economy I can say that I have one... The fact that I love what I do, and the fact that I have been blessed with at least a few people that make it worth it to come in everyday. Yall are wonderful.

6) The fact that Arlo Guthrie is going to be on the Macy's parade and one can only GUESS what he shall sing! (Ahem... Alice's Restaurant....)

7) I am thankful for something I am usually quiet about... But that thing is my boyfriend, Josh. We have been through some rough times, but it has come full circle. I think we have re-found our thankfulness for eachother. Things are going somewhere for us and I couldn't be happier.


I could go on and on, but cooking and parade watching call. Love you guys.

Karma Chameleon

So in my infinite hours of boredom I have begun obsessively editing photos. Here is where you are welcome to be like my mom and tell me that if I am so bored I should clean my house. Thanks. I am not sure why I am taking such enjoyment in it... Probably because it is giving me full control to alter things however I see fit. Very refreshing.

I don't feel like I have the best grip on things at the moment. I am getting there but there are still some huge changes I need to make. Every day it just brings me more disappointment to see that the situation isn't getting any better. It is funny how someone can be so moody, and so unpredictable that you can almost predict how the next day will be. "If yesterday was so great just wait! I bet tomorrow will be angry gradeschooler living hell! Complete with fit throwing and silent treatments!" See... now I am rambling. When did this blog get all soap opera? Young and Restless just stopped in for a second. I apologize. Think I had better quit while I am ahead here.

Wheel In The Sky

LEO Jul 23-Aug 22

Changing your geographical location will give you a different perspective on life and how you should proceed. Not everyone will be in favor of the choices you make but you have to do what`s best for yourself.

No joke, yall... This was the horoscope for my sign yesterday. How weird is that? I take these silly astrology things with a grain of salt under almost any circumstance. But this was a little too specific to completely ignore. Weird, right??

I am in such a weird place. I feel bad for all my friends. I pretty much have dropped off the face of the planet. I am tired... And I am just trying to sort alot of things out in my mind. My life, how it stands right now, isn't where I want it to be. I feel like I am falling short of goals and settling for less than I deserve. This is why I want to forge my own path and make my own destiny. I feel silly for saying so but this horoscope is a really nice affirmation of my recent ideas.

I hope I am myself again really soon. I do miss my friends. My head has just been somewhere completely different lately.